You Know You're Australian If...

I came across this list today and for some reason it seemed even more relevant than ever...

1. You know the meaning of the word "girt".
2. You think it's normal to have a leader called Kevin.
3. You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse.
4. You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden.
5. You believe it is appropriate to put a rubber in your son's pencil case when he first attends school.
6. When you hear that an American "roots for his team" you wonder how often and with whom.
7. You understand that the phrase "a group of women wearing black thongs" refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds.
8. You pronounce Melbourne as "Mel-bin".
9. You believe the "l" in the word "Australia" is optional.
10. You can translate: "Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas."
11. You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.
12. You call your best friend "a total bastard" but someone you really, truly despise is just "a bit of a bastard".
13. You think "Woolloomooloo" is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.
14. You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.
15. You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin.
16. You believe that cooked-down axlegrease makes a good breakfast spread.
17. You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.
18. Hamburger. Beetroot. Of course.
19. You still don't get why the "Labor" in "Australian Labor Party" is not spelt with a "u".
20. You believe, as an article of faith, that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the Yanks for a pittance.
21. You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them.
22. You understand that "excuse me" can sound rude, while "scuse me" is always polite.
23. When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs - just in case you're trying to sneak in fruit.
24. You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem and then have trouble remembering the second.
25. You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemed essential in the government's new test for migrants.