Why I don't drink coffee

I’ve often been asked how I function without drinking coffee, or how I made it through college without it. People often want to know why I don’t drink coffee, and I think I’ve discovered the reason why. Upon walking into a coffee shop today I remembered the strange Aussie way of labelling coffee drinks. The person in front of me ordered a Short Black and a skinny Flat White. The person in front of her ordered a Long Black and something that sounded like mokka. The only thing I understood was skinny, which refers to low-fat milk.

Turns out mokka is just a funny way of saying mocha, e.g. coffee with milk. A Short Black is something like espresso, and a Long Black is espresso with hot water added. A Flat White is similar to a latte, I think, as in espresso with milk added.

The Aussie way of describing coffee with non-coffee works is the reason why I stick to Hot Chocolate, which is universally described as Hot Chocolate.