A few random observations I’ve recently made about Australia. Life sure is confusing here sometimes!
1. Aussies don’t “wait in line”, they “form a queue”. This is particularly confusing at my bank, where there is a sign up saying “Q here”. Cute, but terribly unclear to newbies like me.
2. Q tips are called cotton tips or cotton buds. Terribly unclear to the poor grocery clerk who has no idea what I am looking for.
3. Basil is pronounced “ba-sill”, where the ba sounds like the beginning of the word ‘bat’. My uncle tells me I’m still allowed to call it bay-sill if I want.
4. Cars are allowed to park in traffic lanes during certain times of the day. That is, you could be driving down a two-lane street and hello, there is a row of cars parked in your lane, rendering your lane useless. No-one else seems to be bothered by this.
5. Aussies like to say “yes” to everything, even if they really mean no. Example:
Person 1: “Are you free to see a movie on Sunday afternoon?”
Person 2: “Yeah, no I’m busy.”
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
You Know You're Australian If...
I came across this list today and for some reason it seemed even more relevant than ever...
1. You know the meaning of the word "girt".
2. You think it's normal to have a leader called Kevin.
3. You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse.
4. You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden.
5. You believe it is appropriate to put a rubber in your son's pencil case when he first attends school.
6. When you hear that an American "roots for his team" you wonder how often and with whom.
7. You understand that the phrase "a group of women wearing black thongs" refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds.
8. You pronounce Melbourne as "Mel-bin".
9. You believe the "l" in the word "Australia" is optional.
10. You can translate: "Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas."
11. You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.
12. You call your best friend "a total bastard" but someone you really, truly despise is just "a bit of a bastard".
13. You think "Woolloomooloo" is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.
14. You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.
15. You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin.
16. You believe that cooked-down axlegrease makes a good breakfast spread.
17. You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.
18. Hamburger. Beetroot. Of course.
19. You still don't get why the "Labor" in "Australian Labor Party" is not spelt with a "u".
20. You believe, as an article of faith, that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the Yanks for a pittance.
21. You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them.
22. You understand that "excuse me" can sound rude, while "scuse me" is always polite.
23. When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs - just in case you're trying to sneak in fruit.
24. You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem and then have trouble remembering the second.
25. You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemed essential in the government's new test for migrants.
1. You know the meaning of the word "girt".
2. You think it's normal to have a leader called Kevin.
3. You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse.
4. You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden.
5. You believe it is appropriate to put a rubber in your son's pencil case when he first attends school.
6. When you hear that an American "roots for his team" you wonder how often and with whom.
7. You understand that the phrase "a group of women wearing black thongs" refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds.
8. You pronounce Melbourne as "Mel-bin".
9. You believe the "l" in the word "Australia" is optional.
10. You can translate: "Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas."
11. You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.
12. You call your best friend "a total bastard" but someone you really, truly despise is just "a bit of a bastard".
13. You think "Woolloomooloo" is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.
14. You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.
15. You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin.
16. You believe that cooked-down axlegrease makes a good breakfast spread.
17. You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.
18. Hamburger. Beetroot. Of course.
19. You still don't get why the "Labor" in "Australian Labor Party" is not spelt with a "u".
20. You believe, as an article of faith, that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the Yanks for a pittance.
21. You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them.
22. You understand that "excuse me" can sound rude, while "scuse me" is always polite.
23. When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs - just in case you're trying to sneak in fruit.
24. You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem and then have trouble remembering the second.
25. You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemed essential in the government's new test for migrants.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Why I don't drink coffee
I’ve often been asked how I function without drinking coffee, or how I made it through college without it. People often want to know why I don’t drink coffee, and I think I’ve discovered the reason why. Upon walking into a coffee shop today I remembered the strange Aussie way of labelling coffee drinks. The person in front of me ordered a Short Black and a skinny Flat White. The person in front of her ordered a Long Black and something that sounded like mokka. The only thing I understood was skinny, which refers to low-fat milk.
Turns out mokka is just a funny way of saying mocha, e.g. coffee with milk. A Short Black is something like espresso, and a Long Black is espresso with hot water added. A Flat White is similar to a latte, I think, as in espresso with milk added.
The Aussie way of describing coffee with non-coffee works is the reason why I stick to Hot Chocolate, which is universally described as Hot Chocolate.
Turns out mokka is just a funny way of saying mocha, e.g. coffee with milk. A Short Black is something like espresso, and a Long Black is espresso with hot water added. A Flat White is similar to a latte, I think, as in espresso with milk added.
The Aussie way of describing coffee with non-coffee works is the reason why I stick to Hot Chocolate, which is universally described as Hot Chocolate.
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